The last we'll see of Pubic Bay for a while...

The "Emergency Hare" we found out was Jack Off, so we guessed correctly that we’d be heading westward - and we did! We hit the new high speed (?) highway to Can Tho and made good time getting through Binh Chanh to the outskirts of Long An Province where Jack Off had promised lush green, virginal hashing territory. Yeah, right ! But like the Pom’s piss-poor performance in the World Cup, the reality failed to match the promises. A lot like recently deposed Aussie Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.

Before the run briefing the Yankee deserters, Pubic Bay, Small Apples and Loose Lips were told to Fcuk Off with 120% Bloody Marys - to give sustenance for the run. After the briefing, the runners headed off along a road searching for some semblance of soggy shreddie - as it turned out - sparse, soggy shreddie! As solo Hare, Jack Off set off with the walkers, leaving the runners to their fate.

The promised lush green pastures were scruffy paths, sandy trails were mud baths, and countless dykes (the water kind, not the other) and kilometers of uneven ground made running an ankle-twisting amble. After the waterstop, it continued. The only saving grace was a sandy beach before the stop. But Jack Off stood in to fill the breach when we were hareless last week, and to give it fair due, it was a new area.

Back in the circle, our South African visitor was not so kind to Jack Off and after a scathing soliloquy scored it a -1. (Shit!, if we’d known he was coming we could have bought some vuvuzelas to drown out his report.) World Cup losers were hauled out to take a down down - Aussies, Brits and Yanks. With the upcoming match between the Germans and the Brits, there was a 3 paces duel between Poms Appendadicktome and Lost Our Seoul and Krauts Pissmeister and Good 2 the Last Drop - the Germans were judged the winners [as happened later in reality!!].

With RA Jack Off being the Hare, Public Bay was stand-in Religious Adviser on his last SaiGon Hash. He ws also awarded his 50 Run T shirt and then gave the hashers a ‘full moon’ of his backside with a 5 and a 0 on each cheek. He then said it was carefully crafted by Loose Lips. She was speechless but hauled out for a down-down for her shame. The RA Chains Of Office were ceremoniously handed back.

All the teachers were then called out by Mai who told a l o n g story about teachers and they took their punishment, but Mai was iced for her sins. Australians were charged for losing international soccer, rugby and cricket in the one week. Marty and Huyen fronted for a naming but no good ones were forthcoming from those assembled so it was deferred.

The departing Americans Loose Lips, Small Apples and Pubic Bay were iced and chorused with the familiar, "Fcuk Off, fcuk off" before a stirring US National Anthem "Dumb de Dumb dumb dumb dumb".

Jack Off announced the On On was at the Hyatt Buffet but said that Hash Cash Headmistress may refuse to reimburse the costs and it might be a little over 100,000VND per person. Then it was back on the bus for the quick return trip. On On to Jack Off for jumping in as Hare at the last minute. Well done!

On On, Lost Our Seoul & Basil Thrush E&OA