Psycho Dick and Pissmeister getting their just desserts

A rainy Sunday resulted in "Sugar Hashers" - they dissolve in rain. But the quality of the assembled group more than made up for the lack of numbers. So off we went in a remarkably well maintained and clean bus - in the same general direction we always seem to go when we are unlucky enough to have Jack Off as a co-hare.

Upon arriving at the start point - we were advised by the hares (weedy-looking Jack Off and curvaceous Phuc Me Too) that runners start here and walkers start somewhere else. Fortunately Jack Off went with the wankers (sorry I mean walkers) and we had the pleasure of running behind Phuc Me Too for an hour or so.

As hash runners, we love paddy fields - and on this run there were shitloads of them and we meandered and slipped and muddied our way across them with gay abandon (well Peckerhead did). The good news was that we were always either a) stumbling along on paper, or b) bumbling along trying to find paper, and as such we stayed together as one firm cohesive unit - no chance for the FRB's to make arses of themselves as usual.

Jack Off mentioned it was 8km long (the run that is) - and if that was the case then we are all clearly elite runners, or more realistically we missed out a large chunk of the run. And so it was that we arrived at the bus in what appeared a surprisingly short period of time with all of us clearly panting for more run action. Subsequently we were advised that we could do some more running if we so wished, and off went the intrepid runners to do the walkers course. (except for some slack arses such as Cheap Ride and Taxi Boy who clearly wanted some quality time together).

After getting lost a few times and harassing the locals more than a few times we arrived back at the bus again - feeling good about ourselves having run the extra k's. As expected german hit man Pissmeister and knob end Psycho Dick finished earliest - followed in by amongst others a dutch guy, a german doll, a jap sushi chef, a sud-African (who invited him?), some Vietnamese and too many aussies for my liking. Do aussies really have nothing else they can do on a Sunday?

We assembled (using the term loosely) for the circle in a wet damp location (no female innuendo here), where stand in RA Taxi Boy and the esteemed GM Erectile Dysfunction held court. First came in the hare's - to get what they deserved - but lo and behold they received enormously high scores of something like 2.5 and 2 for the two sets and left the middle feeling very smug. Of course one of the markers was soft as a hamburger Big Mac, the other was American numpty Peckerhead - so say no more.

In came and went a flock of virgins, all from Ho Chi Minh, wherever that is. Then sad git Psycho Dick was the only returnee. Following on there were a few charges - some well deserved (Cheap Ride for getting carried over water) and some even more so (Pissmiester and Psycho Dick iced for repeated FRB offences). Then, on cue, in came Peckerhead and the monologue included incredulous statements such as " ...when I was doing my Masters degree...", and "...when I was a highly trained US marine". Anyone who saw him wincing like a baby on the ice earlier would have begged to differ on the latter, and of course he omitted mentioning the US toy town university he went to in the former.

Towards the end of a cosy circle we were uplifted by the sight of Phuc Me Too taking off her T-shirt, and English language lessons from esteemed non-brits Peckerhead and GM Erectile Dysfunction - has anyone ever used the words "recidivist" and "defenestration" in public before and lived to tell the story?

Before you could say Biere Larue we were back in the bus and back into town, meanwhile making sure that we didn't leave the bus as clean as when we entered it. Those who didn't have a hot date, or even a cold date, went off to the on-on at some dodgy Indian restaurant to get food poisoning. We left the bus very quietly so as not to wake Pissmeister - we expect he will still be sleeping there when we return next week.

On On.
Anonymous Hasher E&OA
(Psycho Dick, probably)