You call that a monkey bridge???

As we gathered outside the Caravelle big black clouds were gathering all around us and as soon as we filled the bus down it came. This was obviously a sign of things to come. The rain kept coming; maybe we’d all be swimming instead of running.
However the Hash gods were smiling on us because 2 K’s from the run start the rain eased to a light drizzle and stayed like that for the rest of the day. In the pre-run circle, hares Two Dicks, Doggy Style and Big Mac informed the runners and the WIMPY walkers that even though the rain had stopped that they would all get wet feet anyhow. Hare Doggy Style chastised (as you should) a VN girl in sandals that was going to run.
The runners took off and, as usual, hare Doggy Style was in the lead to the first check, two minutes after the first check we crossed the creek for the first time, the hounds were looking for all sorts of ways not to get wet feet, Cheap Ride waited for Taxi Boy to give her a piggy back across. Another very small creek crossing and Comes in Style grabbed hold of Deaf Teapot's horn (he offered it to her) and gave it a small pull to help her on her way. Then we were in a pig farm. Doggy Style sent the hounds in the wrong direction and when Two Dicks called them back they decided to take a short cut through the pig shit, Lick - Lick went down in the shit squealing all sorts of obscenities towards Doggy Style. Not to worry, another creek crossing so she washed off the shit ... but not the stink!
Cheap Ride was still getting help from Taxi Boy, but the next creek had to be navigated downstream for 500 metres. Needless to say, Cheap Ride was in for just that and did it on Taxi Boy’s back again (the ice was looking good for these two pancy arses). The VN runners were not happy either, the girl in sandals was not complaining and was actually in front of 50% of the hounds!
As usual Psycho Dick and Pissmeister were in competitive running mode but still struggling to beat Doggy Style. However, Two Dicks had a surprise in store for these front-running, competitive bastards who manage to lose their voices on Sunday between 3-5 and get them back at the circle. Two Dicks & Big Mac set the final 700 metres so Doggy Style had no idea where to go and led the hounds in the wrong direction.
It was still drizzling when everyone returned to the bus, however the hares had made adequate arrangements even for wet weather and the circle was quickly moved under shelter. Pencil Dick did the GM honours and Jack Off was RA. The hares were called in and a run report given by the VN girl in the sandals, she gave the run a +7, even with Jack Off in her ear to give it a minus score. Victoria did the walk report and gave it a +2. Total 9, justice is done. Doggy Style farted his way through the proceedings.
There were a some returnees and virgins and 5-6 hashers from Malaysia were made welcome, including the GM from the Mother Hash.
Cheap Ride and Taxi Boy were immediately iced for behaviour unbecoming of the Hash (though it should have been for skid marks on his back). Comes In Style and Deaf Teapot were charged with Sex on the Hash, and Comes In Style was iced for not grabbing his horn for long enough. As usual Deaf Teapot got off scot free. The Aussies were charged (rightly so) with yet another rugby arse kicking at the hands of the sheep fcukers.
The GM from the RSC Hash got the Malaysians up and they were iced (not sure why). He then told the circle that hash began in Malaysia, .... well, you can imagine our surprise. We were all gob smacked. We thought it started here in Vietnam! One GM drinks all GMs drink, Two Dicks had one with him.
Psycho Dick & Pissmeister were iced for competitive running and voice loss, Pissmeister copped a watering from Doggy Style, the Pommie bird Victoria was iced.
The bus trip home was amusing. The Canadian with the three stripes of Satan carved into the back of his head, Bush Wallaby and JO with a little help from Doggy Style chatting up Victoria. You should of heard it. If bullshit was worth a cent a kilo, these four guys would have been millionaires before they got back to HCM.
On On , 2 Dicks