The Hash Commandments

I
Thou shalt keep Sundays sacred for Hashing as commanded by thy Grand Master. On this day thou shalt avoid bonking of secretaries, houseboys or whatever. Six days shalt thou labour and on the seventh thou shalt Hash.

II
Honour thy Joint Grand Masters that thy days may be prolonged upon the land and it may go well with thee, for they are always right even when they are wrong.

III
Whilst engaged in Hashing thou shalt avoid all cognitive processes as it is well known that a true Hasher is as thick as two short planks.

IV
In the circle thou shalt at all times respect thy Grand Master, for His word is sacred. Thou shalt keep thy trap shut unless singing the holy Hash anthems or unless thy opinion is sought by the Hash Elders.

V
When in sight of the sacred paper thou shalt cry 'On On'.

VI
Thou shalt not follow short cutting bastards for their ways are evil and shall lead you into the Shiggy.

VII
If thou in thine wisdom bringeth Virgins, be sure to instruct them in all things holy, (i.e. commandments, where to find the beer truck etc.) and to guide them until they attain the wisdom to find their way upon the land.

VIII
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass, unless thy neighbor is a Hasher of the opposite gender.

IX
Thou shalt not throw into the wilderness the receptacle of that which sustained thee, for if thou be found guilty, thou must on thy knees pay homage, and thy sin can be washed from thee.

X
Thou shalt not short-change the Hash Cash and if thou findest fault with the writings in the Hash Trash, thou shalt surely take the place of the Hash Scribe and holdeth that position until some other finds fault.

XI
Thou shalt not whinge.

XII
Thou shalt cast thy paper or other markers freely on the ground that they who shalt follow thee may not be led astray and that the path through the wilderness will be clear to the eye of the beholder.

XIII
Thou shalt not lay paper from a chariot, neither shalt thou hitch a ride on a chariot of another, for this will incur great wrath from thy fellow Hashers.

XIV
Thou shalt lay thy Trail not in the cultivated lands flowing with milk, rice, and honey, and bearing the fruits of the soil for verily the locals, whose labor hath brought forth this abundance, will take their vengeance and their wrath shall know no bounds and will descend upon thee and all who follow be they innocent or guilty.

XV
Thou shalt be wary of old paper for this sowest confusion in the pack, neither shalt thou lose thy way for those who wander not "On-On", but through the wilderness of the valley, and enter into darkness shalt hunger and thirst exceedingly and shall incur the wrath of those who then must find them and deliver them to drink.