Rules For Hounds

  1. The Grand Master (GM) is always right.
  2. When the GM is wrong, rule 1 applies.
  3. The Hash Religious Advisor (RA) is always right, except when Rule 1 applies.
  4. The Hash Whip is always right except when Rules 1 and 3 apply.
  5. There are no rules, except when Rules 1, 2, 3 and 4 apply.
  6. The Hash is not democratic.
  7. Don't expect justice on the Hash, either.
  8. Or, for that matter, political correctness.
  9. Upon arrival at the run site or when accosted on the bus, every Hound is invited to present him/herself to Hash Cash (or his/her duly appointed representative) and to happily hand over the required amount of money.
  10. Anyone having any knowledge of a transgression by a Fellow Hasher may make a Public Charge (PC) during the down-downs. A PC will always result in a Standard Penalty (SP) for either the accuser, the accused, or both. No witnesses whatsoever are required for a PC. If a PC is made, an SP will automatically follow.
  11. The Standard Penalty (SP) for any transgression is one down-down, except when differently decided. It is left to the GM's discretion as to whether he will ignore any transgressions.
  12. Excellence is expected of all hashers, but special cases may be rewarded with a Public Acclaim (PA), which will immediately be followed by a Special Prize (SP). For all practical purposes an SP is the same as an SP.
  13. At more or less regular intervals every Hasher is asked to set a run. Since being a Hare is a great honour, refusals are neither expected or accepted. Hares will automatically be awarded a PA, followed by an SP. If the run or anything about the run is considered to be below standard, the Hares will given at least one SP.
  14. After completing 25, 50, 75, 100, 200, etc. runs, and having set some as well, a hasher will be rewarded with a special T-shirt. He/She will also get a PA and an SP.
  15. Intelligence is neither required nor appreciated. Thinking is not allowed.
  16. Hashers are not obliged to run: they are however obliged to think that they are running.
  17. No hasher may overtake a fellow hasher who is, or is under the impression that he/she is running. In this case the aspiring front runner is obliged to ask the fellow hasher whether he/she is in fact running and must abide by the answer. The only recourse to the frustrated overtaker is to disappear sideways under the pretext of "checking" and hope to overtake by stealth.
  18. Short-cutting is allowed; being caught short-cutting is a serious offence. It is the responsibility of short-cutters to ensure that their short cuts are sufficiently imaginative so that they arrive at the end of each leg at the same time as everybody else and looking suitably tired and sweaty. Failure do so will certainly result in an SP, whether the accused actually short-cut or not. In this instance, French law will apply and the accused will be presumed guilty unless able to prove innocence (highly unlikely).
  19. The Hash has certain standard forms of communication:
    • When on paper, call "On-on!".
    • When at a check, call "Checking!".
    • When off paper, call "Looking!"
    • If paper is found after a check, call "On one!" or "On two!" for the first and second markers found. Call "On on!" when the third marker is found.

    All calling should be performed at an appropriately high decibel level. Failure to do so could result in a charge of Silent Running.
  20. Stationary checking or refusal to check when so requested will undoubtedly result in a PC and an SP.
  21. The basic idea of the Hash is a non-competitive run through the local countryside in order to develop a thirst for beer. Aggressive Running is totally banned.
  22. Leading the Hash astray is easy. However, the perpetrator of this crime will be made to suffer.
  23. All Hashers should be strongly committed to the Hash and should attend our weekly gathering whenever possible. Irregular attendance will be noticed and duly punished.