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Run No. 832 on Sunday, 26 November 2006
The "Phnom Penh GM Got Lost!" Run
Location: Vung Tau road, just past the tollbooth
The Run: A to B, two legs, long (scenic) and short (the second leg was shortcutted due to lack of interest)
Highlights: Losing the P2H3 GM ranks right up there.
Lowlights: Towards the end of the first leg, the army threatened to shoot a hasher or two if the pack proceeded any further. It was unanimously agreed that this was not a desirable outcome and a change in the route was in order..
Hash Circle: Led by GM Two Dicks, with numerous interruptions and catcalls from the assembled clowns. The usual procession of virgins, visitors and sinners. Aushole got iced due to getting lost at the end of the first leg (not good for a Hare), joined by Pencil Dick (because he was a co-Hare) and Pussy probem (on general principle). Other sinners included Pecker Head and P. Jae (for being Brangelina look-alikes), all the Aussies (for electing John Howard), all the Kiwis (for being general arseholes) and all the Canadians (for being wannabe Americans).
Milestones: Tonto's 150th run, Doggy Style's 50th run, Aushole's virgin SH3 hareset
On-on: Underground

How The Phnom Penh GM Got Lost:

The sordid details of how the P2H3 Grand Master, STD, became lost, er, geographically embarrassed have come to light. According to numerous eye-witnesses, he was last seen on the run running in the opposite direction to the pack claiming he had lost his watch. This seemed rather farfetched to most of the pack, who felt that no true blue hasher would delay a post-run beer in order to retrieve a five dollar Rolex.

It wasn't until well towards the end of the Hash Circle that somebody remarked, "Whatever happened to old what's-his-name?". A rather lively discussion sprang up between Pecker Head and Doggy Style on one side, who wanted to send out search parties for the errant STD, and the rest of the pack, who said "Sod him. He's an experienced hasher, he knows what to do and he's probably already getting laid". Which, as it turned out, was remarkably close to the truth. Lacking any volunteers to actually go out and look for STD, the debate drew to a close. We push-started the bus, clambered aboard and departed the scene, sans the hapless Hasher.

Luckily, STD's bag was unearthed on the bus on the return journey to town. Pencil Dick amused himself by rummaging through looking for a hotel room key or some similar clue as to his current accomodation. After finding some rather unusual items including what appeared to be a traveller's enema device, an unidentified object with a frilly bit at the end (nobody could work out what it was for, but speculation was rife) and STD's credit card [Thanks, mate - PD] a hotel keycard was unearthed. Upon arrival back at the Caravelle, Doggy Style and Pencil Dick disembarked with the bag, the idea being that they would leave messages all over town for STD's eventual arrival and then retire to Room 910 at the Oscar Saigon Hotel to sample the contents of the mini-bar. The latter part of the plan, however, was nipped in the bud by the premature arrival of STD while the two Saigon Hashers were still writing out the message at the Caravelle.

The full story spilled out at the On-On at The Underground. STD found his watch, and resumed the chase. Somehow, he managed to run past the milling hordes of Hashers running around in circles in the rubber and reached the part of the run that everybody else skipped (see the run report). At this point, while he was lost, confused and in emotional distress a very attractive 20 year-old maiden stopped her motorbike to offer assistance. The kind-hearted lass took poor old STD around, following paper, but to no avail. The Hash Bus was nowhere in sight. The young lady then took our clueless visitor to her house to meet her parents who in turn generously invited him to stay the night. Doubtless, some sort of shotgun wedding was planned for the following morning. STD was torn between the obvious attractions of the lady in question and the desire for a beer. Whatever one may say about his intelligence, nobody can doubt that STD is a dinky-di Hasher. The need for beer won out, and he caught a taxi back to town.

18 Hounds and 4 Virgins vs.
Aushole and Pencil Dick
(Total attendance: 24 Hashers)
Runner Runs Haresets Note
Pencil Dick 235 42 Hare
Hand Job 211 27
Tonto 150 33
Nutsucker 148 33
Pussy Problem 57 8
Two Dicks 55 18
Doggy Style 50 6
Bush Wallaby 49 10
Pussy Solution 47 7
Pecker Head 43 8
Satan 38 3
Little Bird Nhung 32 3
Titanic Balls 12 1
     Nguyen Tuan Kiet 10 1
Aushole 10 1 Hare
     Nguyen Dang Duong 10 0
STD (P2H3) 4 0
STD 3 0
     Caron,Brea 2 0
     Le Thach Hue Phuong 2 0
     HIV (Dhaka H3) 1 0 Virgin
     Kealey,Kevin 1 0 Virgin
     Stanley,Jason 1 0 Virgin
     Stanley,P. Jae 1 0 Virgin