Just for a change, and with a full bus, we headed North and West towards Cu Chi. And, just for a change, the only mountain in sight was one made of rubbish. The Vietnamese having adopted the reverse land fill process as a means of garbage disposal. Before reaching the start point, we passed the Tiger Beer factory. The bus hesitated as the combined force of the Hash will power came into play. It was a close call but in the end, the bus won and we continued past the brewery and on down the road for another 3 kilometers.

Prior to the run, the walkers were clearly told if they were late back again, they would miss out on the party arranged by Flabs. With a rubbish tip behind us and a busy bridge to cross, we set off into the bush. This consisted mostly of paddy fields and tracks linking individual houses. Deaf Tea Pot was once again running over his favourite surface. He just loves dykes! Paddy Fag and Lost In Seoul were blatantly short cutting allowing Paddy Fag to hold the front position for most of the run. He then arranged for an unscheduled Hash Halt in order to have a breather and to consolidate his leading position. There was plenty of paper, plenty of check backs and checks and not many interesting things to see. No-one complained, so we can safely assume the excitement of last week had been too much for most Hashers. Fortunately, there were no snakes, no injuries, nobody got lost and we all returned to the bus within 10 minutes of each other. The shockingly low standards of the Volcano run were not revisited. Some of the wiser heads are of the opinion those low standards may never be reached again.

The comfortable routine of the Saigon H3 was changed and instead of opening the Circle, we all got back on the bus for a visit to the Tiger Brewery. Flabs, or should it be Slabs, led us all into a delightful period bar, somewhere in the bowels of the factory. There was even a proper toilet! That didn’t stop some of the more traditionally minded Hashers from leaving their mark on the nearest wall. The only disconcerting thing about the bar, was the floor and ceiling were built from the same wood and in the same parquet style. This became a problem later in the evening for both the spatially challenged and the pissed. Friendly Bank provided some delicious baguettes and Tiger Brewery laid on a spread of cold chips, snacks and loads of beer and softies. Thank you.

After half an hour of very noisy social drinking, the Circle was opened and Titanic Balls was let lose on the Virgins. There were 15 of them. Not quite up to our usual numbers, but of a high standard none-the-less. Titanic Balls, showing the hospitality he has become famous for, gave his business card to the more concupiscent young ladies. Well done Titanic Balls for going the extra mile and making them feel welcome. You just can’t keep an old dog down. Three visiting Hares came out for another drink because they had not listened to instructions and had previously masqueraded as Virgins. The Hares were then trundled out and feebly praised for their efforts. During the run, the Hounds were asked to think of names for Mick and Tuan. After a lot of muttered and whispered consultation, a consensus was reached. Mick, on the run from London and Perth, and supposedly importing machine tools to Vietnam, was named Jack Off. Tuan presented less of a challenge to the naming committee because he works for Tiger Brewery. As most of what they sell Comes In A Can, so shall he be known. At this point, GM remembered Phuc Me Happy was not happy with his name so he was brought into the circle and re-named Phuc Me Not Happy. A re-naming much appreciated by those of his peers with a particularly twisted sense of humour. Pencil Dick then awarded achievement T-Shirts to Flabs - 25 runs and Comes In A Can - first hare set. Well done to both of you.

GM led off by charging the Vietnamese men for encouraging the appreciation of dogs and for allowing the first ATM robbery to take place in HCMC. They were also rebuked for failing to build a prison large enough to hold all those about to offend against the new law of not spitting, urinating or littering in public places. Flabs was then farewelled as he is on his way back to Singapore. He was brought up again for failing to tell us his real reason for leaving Vietnam. Singapore, worried about its low birth rate, has opened a Love College and Flabs has a place on the third course. Mad Cow is on the first course and she will be punished on her return to HCMC. Woofter and Deaf Tea Pot were then charged for their poor efforts in leading the runners to the top of the Volcano. At this point, I think it only fair to point out this was their second visit to the summit in less than 4 hours. They were then charged again for their poor efforts in leading the runners down from the Volcano in one piece (almost) and on schedule. The lack of ice in the bar was much appreciated by these two Hares. Titanic Balls brought the Vietnamese ladies up for a beer and an ogle, because he can. A few minor charges followed, but by this time the ceiling and the floor were interchanging, so it was on to the announcements.

Those still with some appetite could join the Hares at the Ngon Restaurant. Please note, there will be NO HASH IN HCMC NEXT SUNDAY. We will be in Can Tho for that week-end, ferries, buses and taxis permitting.

That’s it.

Woofter