G’Day,

In the best possible Hash tradition we are now 180° out with the additional bus. We needed it last week but it failed to show. This week, we didn’t need it and guess what! We have now cancelled this bus until we start to get busy again in September. Once we had disentangled ourselves from the other bus crew, we headed up Highway 1 to a familiar temple site. The steps certainly helped GM get over his short stature whenever he was required to address the Hash mob. Having briefed the Hares on their responsibilities and told the Walkers to step it out, GM handed over to Doggy Style. His briefing went on bit but he finally pointed the Hounds in the direction of the trail. A thunderstorm had just been through the run site, so paper was a bit thin on the ground and the tracks were waterlogged and muddy. They soon dried out and we were treated to some very pleasant running on sandy paths. Most of the first half was under cover, a good planning point considering our earlier start time. The scarcity of paper and the irregular distances between blobs confused the Hounds and there was quite a bit of stop start running. There was also a fair bit of running in planted fields. This has become a common theme among our Antipodean cousins and is not to be encouraged. The Water Stop was found after 5.2 Km. The second half was equally pleasant but quite short at 3.6 Km. All distances cross checked and verified by GPS.

Finally, the big moment had come. After a week of frenzied e-mails the beer drinkers were about to try, what was for most of them, their first Zorok. For those of you not familiar with this name, and that would be the vast majority, Zorok is a beer brewed in Vietnam by SAB Miller. It was introduced last year and they have kindly offered us beer sponsorship. Most agreed it was a pleasant drop. Some of the more diligent Hashers did a comparison between cans and bottles and La Rue and Zorok. A selfless effort much appreciated by their fellow beer drinkers. Most agreed, it wasn’t a bad drop but what beer isn’t after a hot sweaty run in high humidity.


Aushole entered the Circle to give the Run Report in which he dammed the Hares with faint praise. They were soon parked on the ice. The walking Hares got off more lightly. Headmistress declining to either whack or freeze any of the bottoms on display. Not a bad effort lads but in the future, please stay away from the crops. At least everyone returned safely, under the watchful eyes of the Hares. Paddy Fag was a bit disappointed with the lack of Virgins. I think his reputation has at last preceded him. As there were none evident, he had to make do with 4 Returnees. Next up were the awards and Pencil Dick managed to find a couple of worthy recipients of our highly desirable T-Shirts. Alex and Thanhtheir Red Hareshirts. Well done to both of you.


GM got the silly section under way by offering a drink to Arthole, Alex and Fagweazel for sleeping on the bus and sitting in the Circle, respectively. The only sitting allowed is on the ice so that’s where they were parked. If one `hole drinks, all `holes drink so Aushole came out to join them. As mentioned earlier, today we christened a new beer called Zorok. The previous Tuesday, Woofter had been daft enough to ask for e-mail opinions regarding this beer sponsorship. Over 100 e-mails later the responses can best be summarised as follows: the typical hasher who had a strong negative opinion on something he hadn’t seen, tasted or heard about; the illogical if it is free it has to be crap beer; the nonsensical we pay a subscription so we can drink our favourite beer - La Rue!!!; the impossible suggestions for tricky cost analysis and cost comparisons and, finally, comments from Bush Wallaby and Woofter based on experience because they actually tried the beer before the Thursday deadline. They were both given a drink for expressing opinions based on knowledge and for behaving in an un-Hash like manner.

Once the beer frenzy had died down, GM was able to report another quiet news week. Following the revelation that athletes were taking Viagra, there had been a number of articles forecasting stiff competition at the Olympics. The most popular pet is now the African pygmy hedgehog. Due to serious inbreeding, it suffers from wobbly hedgehog syndrome. Our own wobbly syndrome sufferer, Aushole, came out for a beer and was joined by Dog Ass, a faller on today’s run. A recent newspaper article told how a group of female students had been banned from whistling at builders. It usually happens the other way round. Builders are also known for builder’s bottom or builder’s crack. Beth was brought out for a beer by GM for emulating this unsavoury practice while running in front of him.

Following these earth shattering revelations, the Circle was opened for charges. El Flatulante got Big Mac up for confusing him with Tonto. El Flatulante wanted us all to know he doesn’t wear a gay ear ring and is not covered in thick body hair. Lost Our Soul was charged for being a wimp because he helped all the female walkers cross a rather rickety bamboo bridge. Checking out the camel toes, more likely! As Lost Our Soul returned to the ranks, he was replaced by a resplendent Peckerhead. Where does he get those trousers from. He gave James a tough time for peeing in the woods. Watering the trail after a thunderstorm is rather over doing it. Next to emerge from the fringes was Paddy Fag with some tail of woe regarding his son and his friend. Apparently, Paddy Fag had spent a lot of money taking them to see some of the local ladies. They were more fascinated by the charms of the female Euro-Trash present in the bar. Good charge. Having got Euro-Trash into his head, Paddy Fag then had the Germans and the Spanish out for providing such a boring European Cup final. Finally, Pencil Dick got into a charge and counter charge dispute with some of the front runners for not calling. I can’t remember the outcome because by then I was well and truly Zoroked!

The announcements were short and sweet. Good To The Last Drop needs to know who wants what meal for the Hash Dinner in Mu Ne. Please e-mail her as requested. GM announced that Hash Cash was in rude health. Despite efforts to reduce our funds, we have in fact succeeded in attracting over $4,000 worth of sponsorship and discounts in the last month. The ON ON was held at Texas Barbecue in Le Thanh Ton Street [and a mighty fine meal it was, too – Ed.}. With that, the Circle was closed for 10 minutes social drinking.

On the way back, James who is known for his `wouldn’t say boo to a goose’ demeanor, suddenly caught fire. Sorry about the mixed metaphors. He became extremely noisy, abusing anyone within range from the center well of the bus. He must have thought he was in the `F’ word competition because he managed to replace almost all nouns, adjectives and verbs with this unpleasant expletive. Some of the ladies were not amused. With James firing away in front and Pecker Head quoting the Second Amendment behind, I made a mental note to let Deaf Tea Pot and Friendly Bank have their favourite seats back for next week.

That’s it,
Woofter