Fifty-eight hardy souls ventured up the coast for Saigon Hash’s eighth Mui Ne Away Hash. Since your Hash Scribe was unable to make it up with the rest of the pack on either Thursday or Friday, he’ll have to rely on hearsay, scurrilous gossip and Good To The Last Drop’s pictures to report on the first two evenings.

The Hares and a handful of Hounds headed up on Thursday morning on the smaller bus, well supplied with beer for the trip as per regulations, followed by the main pack the next day aboard the Official Hash Bus™. Judging from the pictures, the first two evenings were a very passive affair by Hash standards. There wasn’t even a hint of depravity. Old age setting in, no doubt.

The main run on Saturday started off amidst the usual Hash confusion, this time centering around what time the buses were supposed to leave despite G2TLD’s typically efficient organization before hand. Eventually, all Hashers were gathered and delivered to the start along the main drag in Mui Ne. Several Hashers were somewhat confused as to meeting places and had to be collected on the way, including Strip & Tease, Condom Inium, Pornographix and Just Do It Again. Notice a pattern in the offending nationalities?

After a few mumbled semi-coherent instructions from the Hares (oh, all right, Scribe wasn’t listening), the pack set off away from the beach. Following a trail between several houses, we hit the first check within a hundred metres. Right. From there on, things improved. Once we got away from civilized areas, the trail led through some of the more varied and unusual countryside most of the pack had ever seen. High points included numerous gullies and canyons (one of which led to one of the more evil false trails this Hound has ever seen), sand dunes (much enjoyed by the runners – NOT) and large numbers of graves. Paper was well laid and easy to follow, except where it was not, which was most of the time. Well, there was some grumbling about changes of direction not being flagged.

In the fullness of time, the Runners met with and passed the Walkers. After another gully the trail turned and headed back towards the beach and the beer. At this point, the Hares announced that they had had enough and would lead the pack on a gentle jog back to the beer. Big Mac and Pencil Dick, canny souls that they are, realized that the hares were taking the runners away from the beer and elected to assist a brace of young, attractive and obviously distressed Harriettes along a more direct route. The fact that they needed a beer had nothing to do with it.

The Hash Bus crew had set up the circle just off the main road near the beach and decorated the area with Zorok posters. Walkers and Runners arrived together, either masterful planning on the Hares’ part or sheer blind luck. It was time for some serious social guzzling drinking, until outgoing Grand Master Woofter decided to start the festivities before everyone got too zoroked.

Hash Scribe, unaware that he would be the Hash Scribe, didn’t take any notes, so there’s no guarantee as to the accuracy or completeness of what follows. GM, being a Hare himself, called on Pencil Dick to introduce the Hares. Run reporters Sophie and Sheep Sub [? - the Zorok was kicking in] were very positive, actually awarding scores of over zero. Short Stump, as GM of both Phan Thiet H3 and Victoria Resort Phan Thiet was brought forward and thanked for his hospitality; Two Dicks and Fukoffee finally received their 20-Hareset dog tags, and Woofter’s better half, Lisa, finally received her Hash name, to be known now and forever more as Silicon Valley. Woofter complained about the accuracy of the name ("It’s all natural! ") but as usual he was ignored. Mighty Quinn got suitably rewarded for both the design of the t-shirt (great work!) and for her work as Hare Raiser, having just announced her retirement from that position.

Hash Scribe is damned if he can remember the rest of the sinners. Here’s what has been dredged up from the foggy depths of a zoroked memory: Woofter presented the weekly news. There was a lot of it, probably involving the French, the EU and/or the Irish. GPS users featured prominently, and we had a bunch of Harriettes up there for some reason. The Hash Choir hit an all time low, with stand-in Choirmaster Fukoffee being drowned out by Hash Clown Doggy Style.

In the fullness of time the circle drew to a close and the Pack piled onto the buses for a much needed shower and change of clothes before making their way to a thoroughly enjoyable On-On at the Mui Ne Sailing Club.

This wasn't the end of the evening, however. Those of us staying at the Victoria Resort continued partying on our return from the On-On, where Short Stump made us an offer no true blue Hasher can refuse...

Finally, a big thanks to all those who made the weekend possible:

Good To The Last Drop for doing the bulk of the organization for the weekend,

Doggy Style for doing the design and legwork for the T-shirt,

The Hares, for giving up their time and putting in the effort to give us a couple of great runs,

The Sailing Club Mui Ne, for the On-On

Short Stump and the staff at Victoria Resort Phan Thiet, for their hospitality and for making our stay there so enjoyable,

And, of course, our corporate sponsors:

SAB Miller, the makers of Zorok, the beer the powers the Saigon Hash

Maple Healthcare Dental Clinic, 72 Vo Thi Sau, District 1, Ho Chi Minh City

Juice, 49 Mac Dinh Chi, District 1, Ho Chi Minh City

On On!

Pencil Dick