We have two run reports this week, thanks to both Fukoffee and Paddy Fag.

---

It was a two bus run. Those in the large bus had to suffer the entertainment of Fukoffee’s bad quality copy of the Mui Ne hash video on the way out. A T-shirt was also passed around by Doggy Style so hashers could write parting remarks to Nutsucker, such as 'you can suck my nuts anyday', as it was her last hash for a while since she’s moving to Bangkok.

The Hash site was a familiar place to the regulars, as we basically ran the St Patrick’s Day hash in reverse. However the running hares, Aushole and Paddy Fag were very cunning, as they changed the route slightly by marking the trail through sharp prickly bushes and barbed wire fences to cause confusion. Certainly it worked on Doggy Style, who subsequently got lost in the bush and completely missed the circle. Luckily Friendly Bank ordered Deaf Teapot to blow the horn, and Doggy managed to follow the sound from beyond the hill back to the bus, just in time for departure to Saigon. He looked like a drowned rat in the rain.

Pencil Dick introduced Paddy Fag as the new Grand Mattress, General Manager, Grand Manager , General Master or whatever GM stands for, and he had to wear the sign boards hanging from his neck. Also the GM’s red hat was brought back into fashion, having spent some years in hiding by a previous vain GM [Blame Tonto - Ed.]. El Flatulante became the Religious Advisor and did a mighty fine job introducing the newcomers and returnees in a silly RA hat, cracking Canadian jokes along the way. Talking about Mighty, Peckerhead is the new Hare Raiser and will lend his expertise to anyone who needs a hand. Fukoffee seems to be sucked into the hash hymnal position, but can’t sing to save his life.

There was a record turn out at the OnOn at the BBQ place above the Temple Club. 17 Hashers turned up without a booking because Mighty Quinn who was not at the hash did not have the phone number of the place. Luckily we found tables and celebrated the fact we wouldn’t see Nutsucker for some time. Deadly Nightshade did the central ordering and somehow we managed to get well fed without confusing the waitresses too much. There were last beers at the M52 bar across the street where some Hashers were starting to look the worse for wear.

On-On!

Fukoffee

---

Nutsucker's departure run was memorable for many reasons. By magic the rain stopped just as we arrived. It must have been the spiritual awe of the new Religious Advisor, El Flatulante, even though we didn't know he was the RA at that time. The old RA usually had it the other way round, i.e. piss down once we got off the bus.

A familiar run site, however the Hounds were lost souls most of the time. At one stage, Paddy Fag had them running round like headless chickens. Basically the Irish ba**ard was too lazy to look around and figure out where he was. Aushole was the rock of stability and made sure all Hounds passed the "Coffee Shop with extras" without comprising what little morals that are left on the Hash.

Nobody really knows where Wet Rag took the walkers, especially the walking Hounds. However, as predicted all hashers, both walkers and runners, came in together in what was a perfectly synchronised event. Apart from Doggy Style of course!!! An expected result of course having superb and humble hares like Wet Rag, Aushole and Paddy Fag.

Pencil Dick managed the transition from the old to the new without missing a beat. El Flatulante, our new RA, has very small shoes to fill. Paddy Fag as the new GM was elected is a process that left Robert Mugabe look like a "Vestal Virgin" of politics. We have only the Mismanagement committee to blame for this.

Lost Our Soul, the birthday boy, had a bottle of scotch to celebrate. Nutsucker had so many charges that the copious amounts of beer and scotch started to give her a sense of humour. A very scarce trait for a Canadian. Charges were laid on the Yanks, Canuks and Aussies. All well deserved!!!

Nutsucker charged the Vietnamese ladies with not sha**ing Tonto. They would need a large quantity of Scotch beforehand.

The good news was that we lost Doggy Style. The bad news is that he found us. If only we had kept the circle shorter!!! The new GM fu**ed up on his first day. Rumour has it that Doggy Style ran ahead to get a head.

A great On On was held and Nutsucker continued down the path of inebriation and the day was terminated at M52.

On On!
Paddy Fag