The Two Pee Hare Set

This Saigon Hash run was decidedly different. This became bleedin’ obvious when we arrived at the Caravelle Hotel. Our transportation was not the normal Saigon Bus. As a result of the bus driver’s maniacal actions on Run 940, the SH³ MMC had chosen an alternative bus for run 941.

Our transport was a similarly coloured relic from the Two Dicks teenage era. As the assorted Hashers massed around, their attention and discussion focused on the bus.. .the rust holes in the roof, the rusting holes on the outer panels and bumpers. But more surprises awaited us inside. Broken seats, broken side panels, no air conditioning, but opening windows and a roof so low that it scalped anyone over 178cm tall. But, it was cheap!!!!!! [Sounds like we borrowed a Hanoi H3 bus - Ed.]

Questions about the bus’s mechanicals were on our minds as we headed out of town to nearby Binh Quoi - a trip of only 30 minutes! Now that’s different!!!!!!

We clambered off to be met by Pencil Dick and Peckerhead. the two 'P's. This again was different. There was no sign of the assigned Hare. [The assigned Hare, who shall remain anonymous (Hint: his name rhymes with "My dick is real small."), seems to have disappeared - Ed.]. So the two P’s had made a lightning dash out of town about midday and speedily set the run from motorbikes.

Fears were aired as the runners and walkers set off that this would be a short run. That’d be different! Too right!! The runners were back at the bus within 50 minutes and the walkers soon after. Three of the runners decide to do all again in reverse - masochistic bragging bastards! Hasher’s should know that the Commandments clearly state that when the keg is sighted it is the Hasher’s duty to cease running and proceed straight to the keg.

In the circle, the stand-in Hares were roundly roasted, first by Doggy style who awarded a .001 for the run and the walkers gave it a -.01 - Pencil Dick and Peckerhead took their down down.

Stand-in, look alike, facsimile, acting GM Pencil Dick anointed Peckerhead as the stand-in, look alike, facsimile, acting RA. 6 virgin Hashers were down downed followed by 3 visitors and returnees.
Charges were plentiful.
All the Poms were charged over a super-glue on a public toilet seat, while the Kiwis followed for a drastic lowering of the sperm count and fewer pregnant sheep. Fewer future Kiwis too which was a cause for rejoicing. Jack Off, Asex and Max were charged with competitive running for taking on the run twice. Charges also went to 12 who weren’t wearing Hash Haberdash. The Americans of Greek-Italian descent were charged for losing a game of something against Australia.

Mighty Quinn was charged for saying she couldn’t handle 15 inches before work. She refused to answer how many inches she could handle before, during and after work. Five of the Vietnamese Hashers were charged with gardening during the run. They collected lotus flowers. They were branded as whore-ticulturalists and took a down-down.
Stray Pussy and Jack Off were charged for bragging they had 5 pussies at home. Then two Hashers were officially named with due ceremony and beer. Cums In Style and Ladybug.
A late charge of child cruelty was made against Pissmeister who trampled one of the child walkers in his single-minded quest to remain a front-running bastard. He was iced and as he took his down-down, the little one poured a container of water over him to the cheers of the assembled mob.
Some other thing that were very different - we headed back to town when it was still daylight, the bus driver didn’t dummy-spit, there was no piss-stop because we were so close to town.
Run 941 - decidedly different!
On On,
Basil Thrush