|Today 18 June 2019|
Hashing: discovering amazing trails around Saigon like no one else
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Location: Dong Nai
The hares for the annual Saint Patrick's Day run were Turn Off and Casaputa with Saint Paddy Fag and Sore Arse taking good care of the walkers. The walk report was given by Pole Polisher and Chuck. They described it as hot, smelly, dusty and hilly, summing it up as a really good walk They saw the virgin Mary, Jesus and Saint Paddy, before arriving at the church and finding spiritual guidance. They awarded a score of -10. The run was given by Shithouse who realised that he would be the fastest one there but was not worried as he already knew the route. He recognised the Virgin Mary found Jesus in the middle and know he had reached the right church at the end as the bus was there. However the parts between these landmarks were completely new to him and he spent most of the trail lost and confused despite his earlier confidence He gave a score of -23 making the overall score for the trail -16.5.
The virgins this week were Luke, from the UK whose girlfriend made him come, Alex also from the UK who came with Deciballs and Phuong from Saigon who had Broken Seal to make sure she came.The returnees were Broken Seal who has been too busy sex touring and Twin Knockers who has been chained to the sink in the traditional Irish fashion. The Visitors where Terri from Austria, Dripping Wet from Singapore and Maggot from Cebu who is planning to start his sex tour as soon as his wife leaves.
Still sticking with traditions Paddy Fag called in one lady from each nationality on the Hash, gave them some Baileys and asked them if they were happy. Once again proving that ladies from all over the globe are happy when they are swallowing Irish Cream. Sexy Eyes then charged Paddy Fag as he had failed to supply her with any Irish Cream even though she was gagging for it.
Casaputa was then charged with being a Brexit hares, he had no idea what he was doing and kept delaying the start. Afrodizzyak was called in to join him as the excuse he gave for not being able to leave before 9 was that she required her “breakfast” in bed. Afrodizziac was also charged as a representative of the Nigerian nation who apparently out drink the Irish when it comes to Guinness.
The Tickler was then charged for missing half the circle and circle short cutting to such an extent that it turned out he was following his own trail. Microsoft Dick and Patrick were also was called in. They had taken another extreme form of short cutting incorporating a fence which required scaling as they felt the trail was not challenging enough. Microsoft Dick remained behind for a follow up charge. He was demonstrating his pagan beliefs at the beer stop where he lounged on a pew with his feet up drinking his beer and swearing. To be honest though Jesus didn't seem too put out.
The Americans were then charged. Allegedly their great leader Trump has attained the status of a god in the mind of the Venezuelans who have been led to believe that all their power outages have been caused by an electromagnetic storm that he sent.
Finally Paddy Fag was charged. Whilst the runners seemed to be swimming in circles through shit just to end up back where they started they had overheard Paddy Fag proclaiming that the ditch he was stepping into was solid ground, just before he stepped down and disappeared into the mud. Luckily the walkers had the good sense not to follow him.
The On On was held at Phatties,
That's all for this week.
Sexy Eyes signing off.
Date: 24/03/2017 Location: Binh Duong
There will not be a pick up in D2.
The Hash always needs hares let us know when you want to set your trail.
The Saigon Monday Hash House Harriers run every Monday - surprisingly enough! The start point is always posted on Facebook so please get into the habit of checking it out if you want to run with them (details here).
The Saigon Hash House Harriettes host a city run on the Friday closest to every Full Moon.
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