|Today 25 August 2019|
Hashing: discovering amazing trails around Saigon like no one else
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No apologies for any mistakes or omissions
Date: 05/05/2019 Location: Dong Nai
The hare for the run was Patrick, with Shithouse keeping a careful eye on the walkers. The walk report was given by Sore Arse. She described it as a nice walk in the sun, with plenty of shade which was easily followed and well laid meaning that no one got lost. She gave a score of 5. The run report was given by Chatroom Peadophile who felt that the distances given by the German hare were not as accurate as he would have expects, somehow 7.9 km turned into 10.3, maybe he just needs a better sense of direction as he managed to choose the wrong direction at all the gazillion checks. Although there were initial concerns that two of the runner might have been lost they were actually just taking their time, allegedly they were preoccupied by running their hand over each other because of the “ants”. He gave a score of -45 making the overall score -40.
The returnees were Chatroom Peadophile who has been in the USA and Portugal, Broken Seal who has been in Binh Duong and Con Dao, Spandex Man who has been in Cambodia on a Hash tour and Creamy Tulips who has been travelling through the mountains.
The charges then commenced. Sore Arse was called in. Five weeks ago Paddy Fag set a Hash with her and he is still scarred by the experience.
The Dutch, English and Americans were then called in. In a 100 year dispute over the “nutmeg island” the Dutch won by swapping it for Manhattan plus 1,000,000 GBP. This would have been a great deal apart from the fact that the Americans then stole it in the War of Independence making the British 2 time losers.
Spandex Man was then called in as a look-a-like for the Hanoi Hasher Frank who outdid Overdrive “with his getting lost skills”. When on the trail on Saturday he ended up 30 km away from B. Luckily for him the Hanoi Hashers are much more forgiving than the Saigon Hashers. They went to find him, despite the fact that this meant he was picked up at 12 am and they didn’t return home until Sunday morning. Perhaps they were all really just looking for a night out.
The Vietnamese were then charged by the Dutch as the period of National Mourning for the death of former Prime Minister Le Duc Anh meant that the Dutch were unable to celebrate their Kings Birthday Party. Surprisingly the Vietnamese present seemed to have no idea they were in mourning.
Spandex Man and Paddy Fag were then charged with causing psychological damage by exposing their bare midriffs. Many of the assembled Hashers have been unable to block these disturbing images from their memories.
Mr Purple was then charged with trying to play truant. He got into the lift on the 5th floor to go to school, pushed the button and went nowhere. This he claimed was the Universe telling him not to go to school. How did this miracle happen? Simple; he was pushing the button for the 5th floor!
I Choked Linda Lovelace was charged with a lack of sportsmanship. He had spent the previous Sunday decrying Leeds as cheats despite the fact that the only way that his team, Aston Villa, had managed to score against them was that Leeds had stood back and let them.
Sexy Eyes was then called in as a representative of Spunky, due to the fact that she is overseeing his bitches in his absence. It appears he is loving London so much that he has forgotten all about his responsibilities here. The Londoners may not be as enthusiastic as he is running riot through their parks and terrorising the local squirrels and rabbits. No surprises there then. He is still a bit of a slow learner though as he has not yet realised that once you have chased a squirrel into a tree its game over, the squirrel is never coming down no matter how long you patiently sit and wait for it.
Finally our virgin hare was formally initiated into the Hash as Precision Tool.
The On On was held at O'Briens.
That's all for this week.
Sexy Eyes signing off.
Date: 12/05/2019 Location: Nhon Trach
There will be a pick up in D2. Click on the picture below to see where the bus stops. The bus will be in D2 at about 2:15 pm so its best to be at the stop by 2:00 pm
The bus will leave the Caravelle at prompt, so please make sure you are there by . For directions please click here.
The Hash always needs hares let us know when you want to set your trail.
The Saigon Monday Hash House Harriers run every Monday - surprisingly enough! The start point is always posted on Facebook so please get into the habit of checking it out if you want to run with them (details here).
The Saigon Hash House Harriettes will host a city run on the Friday 17th May int District 2 to celebrate the Flower Full Moon and their 5th Birthday (better late than never :)). Further details will be published in the preceding week, we wouldn't want anyone getting overexcited and coming early ;).
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