|Today 22 March 2018|
An excellent Hash weekend, in the beautiful forests of the Cat Tien National Park where we were entertained by Big C and four excellent hares.
Big C more than deserved her Wooden Shoe award, especially after it turned out that she booked the hotel rooms correctly, for 2017, while the orange caps seemed to suggest that she still had a year to go.
Read what happened in Sexy Eyes' scribe report and check out the video by clicking on the orange cap.
Unfortunately, the GM has now run out of clog awards, so we can't have another hashaway for a while.
Meanwhile, it was n't quiet in Saigon either where GE and Paddy Fag set up a city hash for the remainers. What's more, there is even a scribe report, while you can watch the video by clicking on the Saigon HashTube.
The coming week will all be normal again, but with Broken Seal as the lead hare you could well wonder how normal it will be.
For details click here.
HARES WANTED FOR RUN 1395 ON 26th MARCH
This 26th March, about 10 of our hashers will celebrate the Nha Trang Hash anniversary, including most of our regular hares. So far, Hare Razor Stevie Blunder has been unable to find one for that Sunday. If you want to have a go at setting a trail without having to worry about experienced hares looking over your shoulder, this is your chance. It could even be a city run as the GM, who hates c(h)ity runs, will be dancing his socks off in Nha Trang. If you are interested and have time to be the hare for that day, contact Stevie via email@example.com or call him at 0126 786 2068.
Humping for Hash ladies (Wednesday 8th March)
Any hash ladies who are at Game On from 5pm - 7pm on Wednesday March 8 will have their drinks paid for by General Erection in celebration of International Women's Day!
For News from the Hash world, click on News from the Hash world.
Run 1390 on Saturday
The running hares were Stevie Blunder, Casa Puta and Phuc Me 2, whilst the walkers were guided on their way by How Come.
The running hares were iced for making it too long and hard, the circle had to be delayed until after dinner and the hashers almost missed the ferry to the hotel.
Slippery When Wet gave the run report. She claimed that she had enjoyed it as it was very long and involved a lot of going up and down. She gave a score of -6.
Sexy Eyes then reported that the walk had been very scenic and magical, the flour kept magically appearing just behind the lead walkers. Thers had been many rivers to cross, lots of beautiful countryside, plantations and some jungle, even some tobacco plants had been spotted. In addition to the beer stop there was also an orange stop in the middle of an orange plantation. She gave a score of -8 giving an overall score of -7.
The religious advisors were then called in in the forms of Phuc Me 2 and I Choked Linda Lovelace. There were a number of virgins from Saigon who had all come with friends. The visitors and returnees included Fuck Long, Slippery When Wet, You Lick, Kim, Yim, Lee, Reverse Quiver and Jochum who had all been keen to join us on our sex tour to Cat Tien.
It was then onto a plethora of charges which included Mrs Bean being charged with being fall proof. Whilst dashing off as a front running bastard she was less sure footed than anticipated and tumbled, performing a face plant, luckily her inbuilt frontal fall protectors ensured that she bounced straight back up again and continued without missing a beat.
How Come and PM2 charged Jochum with coming on the hash, this caused a bit of confusion as everyone had always thought that that was the whole point.
PM2 then called in Casa Puta and Chi Chi. As they both have extremely long legs they have been having difficulty finding a car big enough to accommodate them when their primeval urges overcome them and have decided to solve this problem by taking the extreme measure of getting married. The ice was commissioned to demonstrate how a motorbike could provide a workable alternative as they demonstrated the reverse motorbike.
Stevie Blunder was then charged for claiming that he could only sleep naked whilst he counter-charged I Choked Linda Lovelace for stating that he would leave any lady who demanded that he sleep in his birthday suit.
Harmonica Lewinski was charged for being a slow learner. Last sunday he went off into the bushes as the bus was leaving only to emerge and find it gone. There ensued a comedy style motorbike chase ensuring that he regained his customary ride home. However, despite this, on the first relief stop on the bus ride to Cat Tien the bus pulled away only to discover that he was once more still watering the bushes. An emergency stop meant that the bus failed to leave him behind completely.
Saki Sucker and Turnoff were then called in. They had initially been dismayed to discover that sharing a room also entailed sharing a bed. Consternation at the prospect had led them to mention this fact and it was felt that suggestions to solve their predicament should be made by the assembled hashers. They were inundated with offers of alternative sleeping quarters, however, as always, the beer had worked its magic and sharing a bed no longer seemed like such a terrible ordeal.
Finally Spandex Man was charged. He had wisely bought new shoes for the run but had not taken heed of Miss Saigon's prior experience and had bought running shoes made in Vietnam. The shoes promptly broke but he had quickly improvised by turning his new hash away hat into a shoe, much to the dismay of PM2.
This then prompted our GM to congratulate PM2 for turning the hash bus into a time machine and transporting us into 2018 so effortlessly. However, the loss of a whole years drinking meant that the party should now swing into full force and continue well into the night. The hashers eagerly obeyed this command from their erstwhile leader.
The next morning the hashers awoke bleary eyed and a little worse for wear and scattered around the National Park in Kayaks, on bicycles and by foot.
Run 1391 on Sunday
The dedicated members of the group reconvened for a second hash walk and run. The timing went a little astray again, they came late, finished fast and had to quickly swallow what was on offer. The GM then abandoned his followers in a mad dash for the airport leaving PM2 to proclaim herself as GM and take over the circle.
The running hares for the second run were Casa Puta and Stevie Blunder, the walking hare was How Come and the ‘sitting in a hammock swinging her injured leg’ hare was PM2.
The run report was given by Spandex Man who described it as fantastic. There were ravines, deep water crossings, plantations and hills, in fact everything you could ask for except forest! His score was -8.
Sarah and Alanah added that the ballbreaker was scenic and they had enjoyed going up and down and being lost and found repeatedly. They also stated that it was the best smelling run they had ever been on. Their score was -6.
Overdrive then described the walk as the best walk ever. Obviously this was down to the fact that there was pepper, peanuts and coffee and had nothing to do with the fact that his only companions were two young vietnamese ladies making it a cosy little menage a trois. Despite this he gave a score of 16, giving an overall total of 1.
On behalf of the GM, Turnoff presented Big C with the Wooden Shoe award to show our appreciation of all the work she had done organising the hash. He then filled it up with beer so that she could take a hash shower.
The charging then recommenced. Sara, Alana and Chi Chi collectively charged Pissmeister and Harmonica deserting Tastes Great and failing to hold appropriately when asked by girls. Tastes Great was then charged with chivalry. He had kindly donated his bike to a lady in distress who needed a ride. He had then stolen a different bike from a poor trusting hasher in order to convey himself back to the ferry in time for the run.
We then had a naming. One of the virgins had demonstrated remarkable potential as a hasher. She had out drunk her fellow hashers, demonstrating her love of beer, but only when its foaming. She had then dragged the 3 remaining male hashers back to her room for some foaming fun punctuated with the odd slap and had kept them entertained in a very pleasing way. It was thus decided to name her Foam Me 2.
Chi Chi was then proclaimed to be the luckiest of all the hashers in the land having avoided Vlad the Impaler's trap by the narrowest of margins. Stevie Blunder had not fared so well, the trail had decided to honour his hashing wisdom and set a trap which ensured he returned to us the proud bearer of an authentic cosmic Bindi.
The losers were all then charged for getting lost, this seemed to be all but two of the runners. Harmonica had been thoroughly impressed by the performance of his companion on the correct trail, Yin. He declared that he had broken his balls, however as the hash had previously ascertained that he has no balls, this means that she broke the balls of a man with no balls. I’m not quite sure how this works. I think I need to contemplate the concept so this is all you are getting.
Sexy eyes signing off
What happened in Saigon
Nineteen intrepid Saigon hashers participated in the "Remainers" hash in District 7 on Sunday, starting and finishing at Pitchers Sports Bar.
The hash commenced at 4.00pm due to the late arrival of Paddy Fag and Twin knockers; the reason for their 30 minute no-show was never fully explained - however the were given the benefit of the doubt that they were otherwise engaged in some form of exercise, which was deemed to be a legitimate excuse.
Ex-GM Jack-Off graciously agreed to be the stand-in GM and sent runners and walkers off at approximately 4.10pm for 7.5km run and a 5km walk through the park-lands and byways of Saigon South. It should be noted that the walk and run were planned with such diligence that the runners and walkers arrived back at Pitchers within 5 minutes of each other. Also worthy of note is that Pitchers 'shouted' the first round of drinks.
The GM called the Circle to order at approximately 5.30pm and called the hares (Paddy Fag and General Erection) into the Circle. Inbound spoke glowing of skills of the running hare in laying such a fantastic run, including a beer stop and awarded the run a score of -7.5.
It was noted that Appendadicktome had a 100% failure rate in picking the correct trail at each check.
Fucoffee provided the walk report and noted that in the whole of his 12+ years of participating in the SH3 this was his first experience as a walker, and to his great surprise he thoroughly enjoyed the experience, especially as the walk had 2 beer stops - even though they were only 8 metres apart. He awarded the walk a score of -3.5 being a total score of -5.5.
Religious Adviser Paddy Fag welcomed Annabel and Sophie into the Circle to celebrate their attendance on the hash as visitors/returnees, and followed up with an array of xenophobic charges against the usual national groups and individuals, which were further complimented by charges from the Circle.
The Circle closed at 6.15pm, and all hashers participated in the On On at Pitchers.
Run 1392 Binh Duong - Great Rift valley
Hares: Broken Seal, Sore Arse, Unzip Me Quick, Where's His Balls
We will be up in Binh Duong in an old, well used but much loved area. Fingers crossed for plenty of shade, no traffic and a lovely usual ~7km or so run.
The bus leaves from the Caravelle on Sunday at 14h00 sharp. For those unlucky to live in Binh Duong, there will be a pick up outside Becamex Tower at 14h50 (2.50 pm).
With the bus heading in another direction, there will be NO pickup in District 2 this time.
News from the Hash World
Pattaya Hash visit on 19 March 2017
About 24 Hashers from Pattaya, Thailand, will visit us a week before the Nha Trang anniversary, on our annual St. Patrick's day run.
Nha Thrang Hash 4th Anniversary 24-26 March 2017
Nha Trang Hash will celebrate its 4th Anniversary in March 2017. The organizer Dingo promises that "it is going to be big, with countryside runs, a boat trip with island lunch, beach swimming, ocean playing, night time partying with live music and much more".
The anniversary weekend is now fully subscribed and, if you want to go, try getting on the waiting list. Not everyone has paid yet, and there may be a (small) chance of making it. More details can be found here.
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